Class of Nuke 'Em High III (1994)

Class of Nuke 'Em High Part 3: The Good, the Bad and the Subhumanoid (1994). We've taken a look at Part 1 and Part 2  - now, let's round out the trilogy with part 3.

After an excessively long intro recapping part 2, we meet our bad guy - Dr. Slag, PhD (John Tallman), head of the Nukamama Corporation.

He informs his punk minions of their evil plan: All the subhumans died in part 2... except one.  Victoria was given an antidote to avoid the melt down.  Slag says that the subhumans possess a massive amount of energy (more than the nuclear power plant).  He wants to capture that energy - and that means capture the last remaining subhuman.

Victoria, the world's last subhuman dies in childbirth... but she delivers two half-mutant children: Dick and Adlai. Her husband, Roger (Brick Bronsky), is by her side.

Guess who's back?  It's the mad scientist who invented the Subhumans, Professor Holt (Lisa Gaye).  I fucking love Prof. Holt - she's a stone cold fox with a massive beehive hairdo; total badass.

While Roger grieves outside, Dick is whisked away by Prof Holt and the Nukamama Corporate Gang.  Roger never realizes Victoria deliverd twins.

Nurse Chavel (Nello Scadato) and Nurse Pony (Jean Stewart) console poor Roger.

Roger raises his son Adlai to be a fine upstanding young man.

 Meanwile, Dr. Slag and the Nukamama Corp. raises Dick to be violent and greedy.

Adlai graduates Summa Cum Troma.  Since he's half mutant, all those only took a few years.  Adlai is accompanied by his former wet nurse, now girlfriend, Trish (Lisa Star).

Dick also graduates - but from an altogether different curriculum. Dick and Adlai, oblivious to each other's existence, are brought up to be polar opposites, good and evil.

Prof Holt is back in the lab.  This time she's creating monster clones - of earth, fire and water.

 Trish and Adlai have phone sex.

 That night, Adlai has a weird dream.  

 In the dream, he strangles Trish to death.  It's as if there is an evil part of him out there.

 When Adlai wakes up, he finds that his hand is glowing.  

Dr. Slag puts Dick to the test.  If he can defeat a series of foes, he is pronounced ready to go out into the world to maim and kill.

 Dick punches through his final foe.  As he does, he too finds that his fist glows.

While Dick uses his glowing fist for evil, Adlai uses it for good.  As in good lovin'.

 Adlai's glowing fist sends Trish over the hills with ecstasy.

Ron Jeremy announces to a crowd that the Nukamama reactors are about to blow.

Adlai saves Tromaville by putting his powerful glowing fist into the reactor, basically using it as a control rod.

Dr. Slag informs Prof Holt of the news: Dick isn't the only Subhuman in town.  He heard the news of Adlai saving the town and realized he must be Dick's brother.

In a weird (yet interesting) interlude, we find this happy couple: Elaina (Elizabeth Young) and her boyfriend George (Mark Richardson).

George works at the nuclear plant and has been getting steadily mutated.  Elaina doesn't seem to mind.

 Elaine finds herself pregnant with mutant George's baby.

 Elaina wants to join in an anti-abortion rally.

But when she delivers a hideous mutated mess right in front of them, they turn their picket signs from "Don't Kill" to "Kill".

Lloyd Kaufman often put messages in his films. From abortion and AIDS to nuclear power, Kaufman found a way to put an irreverent spin on all kinds of touchy subjects.

Back to the story.  The evil plan is to have Dick go around town committing atrocities and have them blamed on Adlai.

Dick almost kills a homeless person, but holds back.  It's as if he has a good side to him, just as Adlai has a bad.

Trish doesn't realize this isn't Adlai and has sex with Dick.

 Professor Holt records the whole thing.

 The video is shown to Adlai who flies into a rage.

But Adlai is able to use his telekinetic power with his brother to tell him to stop, and to expose who he really is.

Armed with this information, Trish goes to the power plant and speaks to the townspeople of Tromaville, telling them the truth.

It should be noted that the film shows Trish's butt a lot... and every time, there's a fart noise. WTF?

 Trish points to the real bad guys.  It's not Adlai, it's those bastards at Nukamama!

The Final Battle.  It's all out war as Adlai battles his brother, and the townspeople battle the Nukamama workers.  Chaos erupts.

Trish takes down Dr. Slag. 

Fart noise.  

In the end, the two brothers bind their forces.  It causes them to melt and form into a glowing atomic ball of energy.

Trish puts it in the nuclear reactor and out pops a baby.  The town celebrates - this mutant baby holds the future of Tromaville - and the hopes of a Part Four.  THE END

So, this was way worse than the first, and moderately worse than the second.  I guess I'm glad they stopped at 3 because there's a definite trend downward.  Of course, Lloyd Kaufman would return almost ten years later with Return to Nuke 'Em High, but the VZ1 verdict is still out on that one.  Stay tuned.

★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆