Mar 31, 2018

The Geek (1971)

Why watch this no-budget adult film from 1971 that was forgotten for decades?  It features a group of campers getting attacked and molested by Bigfoot.  That's why.

FORWARD - In the wild untamed regions of the Northwest part of our Continents strange stories have been unfolding for two hundred years.  There is a legend of a mammoth being.  Part animal, part human.  It's grotesque form has on occasion been seen by some.  Others scoff at it's (sp) existance (sp).  Yet, all respect it - they call it the 'Sasquatch' We call it - The Geek.
What can you say about a movie that has a crooked opening crawl, with blatant misspellings?  I say, this is pure awesomeness.

As our band of hippies unload their pot van, the narrator explains:
What you are about to witness in this theater, in the next hour, will undoubtedly become indelible in your memory, forever.    You are about to see one of the strangest phenomenons of our century.  It is a legend come true.  It is the legend of the mysterious, elusive, animalistic-type creature known as the Sasquatch. Part man, but mostly beast.  Some scientists believe that the ancient Neanderthal man was the progenitor of our civilization, yet others insist that the Sasquatch, otherwise known as the Geek, is ancient man. A mutation perhaps, but nevertheless ancient man.

There are three couples.  The girls are listed only as Camper in White Shorts (Lynn Holmes) and Camper in Black Shorts (Nora Wieternik).  The girl in grey slacks (which seems an awful wardrobe choice for camping), doesn't even get a listing in IMDb.

Both Lynn Holmes and Nora Wieternik were in a decent amount of softcore B-movies in the seventies.  I was actually surprised.  Given the zero budget, I expected the cast to be locals with no experience.

Grey slacks girl and her guy find a secluded spot and make love.

"Make love" may be the wrong term... more like - make sweaty, dirty, and profoundly disgusting STD-laden sex in the grass.

Well, that's over.  Time to put my grey slacks back on.

White shorts girl and her man also find time to fornicate.

Cheers.  Two share a toast before engaging in hardcore sex.

What's interesting is that Lynn Holmes additional films weren't pornos (or at least most of them appear to just be softcore sleaze).  So what gives here? She was also in movies with Rene Bond, and was married to one of the guys in this film.

Unfortunately, A LOT of this film is just the gang hiking.  Unlike Walkabout which also featured tons of hiking with no dialog, this has not of the great cinematography, which established a sense of wild and untamed nature- this is just boring padding.

Finally, forty minutes into the movie, the gang finds a Sasquatch footprint, as well as Sasquatch poop (I can't help but be reminded of The Sasquatch Gang (2006) which hilarious centers around the mythical creature's scat).

They finally run into the beast...

Black shorts girl and her boyfriend (Ric Lutze - Rene Bond's husband) approach, like idiots.

Notice how her boyfriend hangs back as black shorts girl extends a gesture of peace.

Well, okay.  The Sasquatch extends his own sort of gesture, and grabs her butt.  I guess it gets lonely, alone out in the wilderness.  Sasquatch has needs too.

Then the Sasquatch takes it to another level and rapes the poor girl.

Actress Nora Wieternik may not have had the career in Hollywood she was expecting, but at least she can say she was screwed by Bigfoot on camera.

After a while, you get the impression that Bigfoot isn't such a bad lover after all.

Notice how the cowardly boyfriend just hangs back the whole time... and he has an ax for god's sake!  He lets the Sasquatch finish and walk away unharmed.

Girl in black shorts:  Oh, that beast.  He stuck his ugly thing into me.
She should have been asking, where the fuck were you, asshole?

Thankfully, our friend with the camera got it all on film.  (He clearly wasn't too worried about saving the girl either.)

The Sasquatch attacks again.  He knocks out the girl in grey slacks and starts ramming hre from behind.

That's not cool, man.

At least the Sasquatch doesn't just rape an leave; he takes time to cuddle with the unconscious girl.

Once again, the guys wait until the girl is already raped before springing into action.

The guys are able to fend off the beast, and the girl in grey slacks is rescued.

The gang regroups and gets the fuck out of Dodge.

Would it be wrong to call a movie about Sasquatch rapes "charming"?  It's just so poorly done, so ridiculously amateur that I can't help but enjoy it.  Yes, it's clearly a piece o'shit, but I'm still glad this trashy artifact of early seventies smut exists.


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