Mar 30, 2018

Sex Rally (1974)

Sex Rally [original title: Le rallye des joyeuses (1974)] is basically a risque French Cannonball Run. There's no Burt Reynolds or Dom DeLouise, but there are plenty of boobs and what-not.  Let's have a look.

Before the big race, the participants have a big party.  Everyone is happy, French, and (probably) doing coke.

The team of Patrick (Michel Vocoret) and Martine (Valérie Boisgel) are immediately off to a bad start - their car has broken down.

As Patrick fixes the engine, Marine picks flowers by the roadside, providing passerby a full upskirt.

A portly man on a bicycle admires the view being provided by Martine and stops to help Patrick.  The man is listed simply as "The Peasant" (Le Paysan), and is played by Henri Génès.

The Peasant's interest in Patrick's engine problem wanes as he is distracted by Martine's short skirt.

When Patrick has finally fixed the problem, he looks up to find Martine and this stranger gone.  He explores the woods and finds this...

Patrick tries to pull The Peasant off his wife, but he won't budge.

In a truly hilarious moment, Patrick starts kicking this guy in the backside.  However, it has the opposite of the desired effect...

Each time he kicks, The Peasant rams harder, and Martine moans louder!

Thankfully, Patrick is eventually able to pry this fat bicyclist off his wife and it's on to the next scene.

The next team, Etienne (Maurice Illouz) and Maryse (Monique Vita), stop by the roadside to make out.  Maryse tears her shirt right over her boob. ...

They flag down someone to help them with directions.  It just happens to be The Peasant passing by.

This Peasant is really get an eyeful of these rally contestants; but he's about to get a whole lot more.

The next team of Sylvie (Anne Libert) and André (Pierre Danny) also stop by the roadside.

Actress Anne Libert

The two have sex on the hood of their car.  When The Peasant rides by, he totally wipes out.

This poor guy was just gobsmacked without warning.  Although, he should be getting used to the sight of nude rally contestants by now.

The next phase of the race, the contestants must retrieve directions from a humble grocery store...

The first to visit the store are Sylvie and André.

I'm actually not clear on why, but for some reason the girls feel the need to seduce the grocer in order to get the directions.

I'm not sure all this is necessary, but I'm not going to question it.

Sylvie puts on a helluva striptease.

When the grocer's old wife comes in, she faints straight away.  The grocer tells her to shush.

Sylvie leaves with the directions, and now it's Etienne and Maryse's turn.  You'll note that she's still sporting the torn shirt.

The grocer gets yet another personal striptease for the directions.  (I think the deal is that the directions are hidden at the grocery, and they have to distract him in order to get it.... I think.)

Actress Monique Vita also provides the FFN.

Monique Vita on the cover of Flirt magazine

Patrick and Martine are the last to arrive at the grocery...

The grocer doesn't know what the fuck is going on.  It's one beautiful woman after another showing up, stripping and humping him for no discernible reason.

I'm glad to see the grocer is embracing the situation.  Don't question it, just enjoy the moment.

promotional photograph

Let's introduce one more girl to this whole affair - Vicky (Joëlle Coeur).  This stone cold fox has been featured on a few VZ1 reviews.

Joëlle Coeur had a brief career- just 1972 until 1976.  But in that short time made some quality appearances, with 20 films to her credit.

Anyway, Vicky has a lesbian encounter with Sylvie.Indeed, when the gang all reach the hotel, everyone seems to be having sex with everybody.  I couldn't keep track.

Martine is shocked
Everybody's popping in and out rooms and in out of each other.  As much as I like to see these ladies naked, this level of frantic silliness is a bit much.  Some are even in fast-motion with the William Tell Overture.  Ugh.

Maryse on the phone while being seduced

Martine and another chick seduce The Peasant.  Yes, he appears again.

Sylvie can barely walk after having rough sex in the wardrobe 

In the end, this couple wins.  Who are they?  They're the only contestants who played it straight the whole way (and weren't the least bit funny or interesting).  But who really cares?

I can appreciate a stupid sex comedy as much as anyone, but this went a little too stupid for my taste.  A quality restored version would definitely raise the entertainment value (as this is all eye candy), but it can't erase the stupid.  Let me explain...

First you have the encounters with The Peasant, and it's the same joke three times.  The the encounters with the grocer, and that's the same joke three times.  Then, finally, you just have everyone fucking like rabbits in a hotel.  And that's the movie.

Granted, all the ladies were more than willing to provide full frontal nudity - and that goes a long way.  But that's literally all you have with this film.  Some genuine laughs and at least mild interest in the plot or characters would have been nice.


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