Mar 23, 2018

Frustrated Wives (1974)

A couple dissatisfied British suburban wives go to a health clinic - naughty business ensues.

The film was originally called Sex Farm, but thankfully they decided to change it.  As you'll probably agree, the title doesn't really fit.

The film features two frustrated wives, Diane and Cheryl, who really are dissatisfied with their husbands.

Diane consoles herself with some chocolates
Diane is married to Robert (Tristan Rodgers, who became famous as Scorpio on General Hospital).  He's a sexist douche who can't satisfy the poor girl in bed, and doesn't seem to care.

Actress Amber Kammer as Diane, is naked right at the start.  Amber had a successful run in the late sixties as a mod model and TV star.

Amber Kammer in The Man in Room 17 (TV Series)

Her friend, Cheryl, is equally unsatisfied with her shitty husband.  Cheryl is played by Hilary Farr who has become hugely successful as co-host of the long running HGTV hit series "Love it or List it", and subsequently as President of Hilary Farr's Designs with offices located in New York and Toronto.

I am quite sure Hilary Farr would love to forget Frustrated Wives, with her frequent nude scenes.  But, alas, VHS copies still circulate.

Cheryl finds an advert in a magazine for a place called "The Health Farm" out in the country.

Cheryl gives Diane a call to see if she'll be willing to go to this sex clinic (and delivers a topless scene in the process).

Diane doesn't even want to pick up the phone, thinking it's her worthless husband.  Finally she relents, and when she hears Cheryl's plan, she's only too eager to go.

"While the husband is away, this pussy will play," says Cheryl as she gets out of the tub.

The girls arrive at The Health Clinic and immediately have their cigarettes, alcohol and junk food taken from them.

The Health Clinic is run by a Dr. Schroeder (Gordon Whiting), who does not practice what he preaches, partaking in vast amounts of tobacco and booze.  He's accompanied by the receptionist, Miss Brooks (Claire Gordon).

Cheryl and Diane are forced to eat healthy vegetables and workout in the gym.

Poor Diane is having a miserable time.

Cheryl, however, is starting to have a much better time, thanks to her masseuse, Mick (Steve Patterson).

Hilary Farr, once again delivering the boobs.  Hard to believe this is the HGTV star and president of a company.

Meanwhile, Diane's husband, Robert, is getting it on with his secretary, Miss June Phipps (Susan Glanville). You may remember Susan Glanville as the character Florinda Prescott in The Sex Thief, reviewed on VZ1.

"If letters came as quickly as you do, postal delay would be a thing of the past."
June is bluntly honest with Robert -  he's no good at sex.  But she'll continue to shag him to get ahead.

Cheryl's husband also cheats (with a gas station attendant), and Cheryl herself sleeps with Mick the masseuse.  The only one not getting lucky is poor Diane...

Diane is trying to work out in the gym, but she keeps getting fondled and groped.

This scene is obviously played for laughs, and serves as quite a testament to how times have changed.

This would get you prison time today.  But in Frustrated Wives, filmed in 1974, it's just hilarious how Diane keeps getting manhandled.

Diane is one of the personal saunas when her nemesis (i.e. sexual assaulter) pays a visit.  He tells her he appreciates a "merry chase" and actually starts to kiss her.

Fortunately, Jim the fitness director (Barry Stone) arrives to save her.

Actress Amber Kammer provides us with a nice long look as she's assisted out of her sauna tank.

Diane has about enough of this starvation diet, so she takes matters into her own hands.  When her attempt to raid the clinic's locked-up confiscated food supply, she hitch-hikes to town.

She's picked up by the clinic's dietitian, Francois (Patrick Tull) who treats her to a big beautiful meal.  He only asks for one thing in return... have sex with Diane.  This also means squirting condiments and laying sausages upon her (no that's not a euphemism)...

Meanwhile, back at the clinic, Cheryl is trying to get something going with Jim, the fitness director.  But all he cares about is working out.

Cheryl steals his glasses, then when he's found them again, she's naked on the floor waiting for him. A clever trick which works out as planned.

Later, Diane discovers the joys of the exercise belt.

The scene which inspired this movie promotion

The camera zooms in to ogle at panty-level.

Jim arrives and discovers Diane all hot-and-bothered by the vibrating belt.  The inevitable sex scene follows.

Robert brings June back to his place to have sex; however, he has had enough of June's derogatory comments and ladder-climbing, and sends her packing.

The final scene at the clinic: everybody gets a hold of the confiscated food and alcohol and throws a big party.

The party soon erupts into an orgy. (That's Diane's bottom at bottom, and Miss Brooks at right.)

In the end, Diane returns home to find Robert a changed man.  He now appreciates his wife, and realizes sex isn't all about his own personal gratification.

Since actress Amber Kammer has spent basically all her screen time in the nude, it's only fitting for the film to end with her taking her clothes off.  A happy ending for everyone, including the audience.

I happen to find this film really fun.  Like most British sexploitation films, it's just silly with a lot of T&A - and that's perfectly  okay with me.  Nothing was too original or belly-aching hilarious, but funny enough to make for a fun ride.

Of course, the behavior of the men was borderline rapey at times, but it was the seventies.  We saw the same thing with another British sexploitation romp, Rosie Dixon Night Nurse, where males basically act like sexual predators and we're supposed to laugh.  As long as you recognize that times were different, and save your outrage for later, you'll have a good time.  I definitely did.


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