Mar 10, 2018

Balls of Thunder (1997)



Tagline: "More Class than Bond. More Hip than Powers. Dumber than Smart." It's a Bond spoof with tons of nudity and featuring many famous faces from late-night cable.  


Robert Donovan plays a James Bond knockoff named Rod Steele - and I have to say, he was made for the part.  He's got the Bond shtick down pat.

Here he's given a surveillance device which bears a strong resemblance to the "click" device - the focus of a series of "Click" movies, where pressing the button causes folks to get wildly aroused (we saw it in The Body Beautiful from the same year).

At a restaurant, the inevitable happens.  The infamous "click" device in the hands of Dr. Fex (John Lazar) is accidentally switched with Rod Steele's identical looking surveillance device.  What are the odds?

Inadvertently clicking the clicker gets the bartender and a woman dining at the restaurant all hot and bothered.

Michelle Bauer as Madame Greta
Rod Steele's mission is to take down the evil Bond villain, Tangerina.  To do that, he must travel to  Prague and find Bell, Agent 0013.  She's deep undercover at a Prague brothel at the moment.  The madame of the establishment is none other than Michelle Bauer, who pops up a lot in VZ1 movies.

Steele discovers that Bell is under the mind-control of Tangerina.  Before Bell can kill him and Madame Greta, he knocks her out.


"Nice to see you 0013.  And to see so much of you."

Bell: I couldn't control what I was doing.  It was like an unstoppable force going through my system.
Steele: Mexican
Bell, AKA 0013, is played by Sita Thompson

I believe I got this clipping from a Femme Fatales magazine, where Thompson says she's okay with nude scenes, but not "kinky stuff".

Anyway, to make amends for almost killing Madame Greta, Bell agrees to service the brothel's next customer.

Steele thinks he's using the clicker to listen-in (he still thinks it's a surveillance device).  Instead, the clicker turns Bell into a raving sex machine.

Steele calls headquarters to check in.  While on the line to the operator, he turns his clicker on, which causes the whole HQ switchboard room to erupt into full orgy mode...


Two of Tangerina's minions, disguised as maids, enter his room.  Gabriella Hall is Areola and Jacqueline Lovell is Pussy L'amour.

Before they can capture him, Steele is able to use his clicker.  Bell enters the room just in time to catch an eyeful.

Later, Dr. Fez arrives at the hotel to try and get his clicker back.  Pussy L'amour just knocks the poor guy out.

Steele and Bell enter an exclusive poker game.  Steele uses the clicker to send a girl into ecstasy so he can have her seat.

Note that this is actress Bo Zena, who did an amazing job of acting out a clicker induced orgasm in Body Beautiful.  Clearly, this is her acting strength.

At last, we meet Tangerina who's made up in a body paint suit (clearly a nod to the famous Demi Moore cover).

Tangerina is played by De'Ann Power, who was featured in an entire article in Femme Fatales for this role:





Tangerina invites Steele to a party she's having at her mansion in Cannes.

Tangerina sends a snake up Pussy L'amour's leg as punishment for her failure.

At the party, Tangerina is dressed as Marilyn Monroe.


But it's a trap!


Of course, Tangerina and her minions hadn't counted on Steele bringing an orgy-inducing clicker.

But just when it seems Steele has won again, the tables are turned.  Tangerina uses the clicker against them, and Bell goes into hyper-arousal.

Tangerina lets the power go to her head.  She launches into a Dr. Evil-esque speech, declaring that she will rule the world.

In the end, it's a battle of clickers, with Bell gaining the upper hand. Tangerina starts humping the first man she can find, as the entire place explodes (with Steele and Bell escaping in the nick of time).

The film ends with Steele getting it on with Bell in the shower (still in his tux, of course).  THE END

If only all late-night Skinamax films could be this creative and energetic.  Balls of Thunder is wall to wall nudity and fun - a total win.

★★★

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