Evilspeak (1981)




One of the notorious "video nasties" starring Clint Howard as a wannabe satanist; also featuring a very memorable boar attack... suffice it to say, this demands our attention.

























CHARACTERS
RATING: ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 8/10

REVIEW: This movie is fucking insane. Satanic boars kill a secretary in a shower, Clint Howard levitates, raining satanic justice from above... I will never forget this film. Certain films just do evil well - The Exorcist and The Omen are prime examples. Evilspeak, while not on par with those films, does evil just as well. Supposedly, Anton LaVey, the founder and high priest of the Church of Satan, was a big fan of this film. And I can see why - they do the satanic shtick right. This movie is hilariously crazy as a shithouse rat one minute, and seriously chilling the next. While copying Carrie, it still remains a highly original piece of cult cinema gold. Highly recommended.
 


SYNOPSIS

Coopersmith (Clint Howard) is a cadet at a military academy. The poor sap is the constant victim of bullying; sort of a Carrie with genders reversed. Coopersmith is tasked with cleaning up the basement of the military academy. There, he finds some ancient satanic books and artifacts. The room is evil as shit. Coopersmith attempts to translate the satanic text using his computer, but it's to no avail.

Coopersmith is once again a victim of bullying; but he's the one called into the office of Colonel Kincaid (Charles Tyner) for punishment. Coopersmith has accidentally dropped his satanic book into the waste bin. Miss Friedemeyer (Lynn Hancock) the secretary finds the treasure. Coopersmith thinks the bullies have stolen his satanic book, so he confronts them at the roller skating rink. Coopersmith's computer tells him what he needs in order to have his only personal black mass. Spurred by both curiosity and absolute rejection by his peers, Coopersmith attempts to have his black mass. Unfortunately, he's missing the critical element of a consecrated host. Before he can finish, the bullies arrive and knock his ass out. These guys are beyond cruel - I actually really feel for poor old Coopersmith.

Miss Friedemeyer, the secretary, takes a shower. Remember, Miss Friedemeyer is still in possession of the satanic book. She hears some noises outside the bathroom door. She opens the door to find a fucking pack of wild boars! The satanic book magically returns to Coopersmith, who now has everything he needs to do a proper black mass. Again, much like in Carrie, the school bullies are trapped inside the chapel as Coopersmith unleashes torment upon him. You just can't unsee the vision of Clint Howard floating through the air wielding his satanic sword. Coopersmith ultimately kills everyone in the chapel. THE END